Father's Day / Afghanistan

"My daddy worked hard, and so have I.....paid our taxes and gave our lives to serve this great country....so what are they complaining about??  We love our families and love our kids...it's love that makes all so rich....that's where we are at."
Lynyrd Skynyrd - RED, WHITE AND BLUE


Today is Father's Day.  It is the day when we honor our Dads and all they have done for us.

My Dad worked hard to make sure we had the things he did without as a child who grew up during the depression, the 1940's and World War 2.  My Dad served in the Army during the Korean conflict in Alaska keeping the phone lines open between Korea and the US.  No combat duty but two years in the cold and isolation of the frozen wilderness.  Like the men of his era, he did what was required and did not complain about what he had to do, he just did what was needed.  He earned the rewards of his hard work and was able to retire to a small town on Cape Cod, residing there today at the ripe age of 83 years young. His generation were likely the last ones who will get what all should expect after a life's work - security and the ability to enjoy retirement.

My Dad is the man I would some day hope to be - patient, understanding and above all, a good man who made sure he was always there for all of us.  I have modeled my fatherhood skills after his and it is still something I strive to do each day - be more like my Dad. He is the "rock" that made all the rest of our lives possible.

Today, Dads face the same issues our Dads dealt with - trying to be the best Dad and providing what is needed. Moms face some of the same issues as our economy has made it necessary for both parents to become wage earners.  Dads still bear the larger part of being the wage earners the same way as Moms still deal with the majority of the household chores.  It is a bit of a stereotype, but this is the norm for most. 

This will be the third Father's Day I have spent in Afghanistan.  I have been working contract work over here since 2009 with a few short breaks.  One way or the other, I have been here for the Spring and Summer months and that places me away from home on Father's Day.  My wife sends along cards and small gifts via care packages and her gesture is deeply appreciated.  She has also had to deal with me being away on Mother's Day, so she understands what we both recognize - life is truly different for Fathers and Mothers in this day and age.  She works hard keeping the homefront going and I work hard here earning what is needed. It is a Faustian deal that we have been forced to take as the alternative ( failure or loss of our home) is untenable on all levels.

We are not working here to buy shiny new convertibles or to amass a big new home - our goals are much more simple as we look to take care of our humble house and make sure that we can live there for the remainder of our lives....a simple desire to do our best, take care of each other and do the work the good Lord has given us.

Our oldest child will turn 30 this year and we have 3 out of 4 kids out of the house living their own lives.  The task of raising them into adults has been completed but as a Dad, my influence and mentoring continues throughout the rest of their lives.  I hope that they each make good choices and that the life they choose will be a good one.  I can only offer advice and make sure that I am there when they need me, even if it is sometimes via Skype and an email or two.

Today is a work day for me and like many other Dads, I will do what is needed to make sure the homefront gets what is needed. Dads all over the world will spend today enjoying time with their kids celebrating the day at home.  Many others in uniform and those like me working here in Afghanistan will be away from home and the celebration of Father's Day.  At the same time, what we do shows that we are focusing on what is truly important as Dads....we are forgoing the accolades and day off to ensure the homefront gets the much needed support our work provides.  There will be Father's Days in the future where we will be able to spend the day relaxing on the back deck and/or BBQing some tasty food.  The work we do today ensures that those future Dad's Days will be there and that we will be able to share that day with our family.

To Dad's everywhere - Happy Father's Day and many more to come !!  I salute each of you for your efforts and the efforts of our Dads who gave us their best each and every day.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all the DADS out there....especially those who are away from home & family serving our Country

All -

I am overseas and this is not the first Father's Day I have had to spend away from home. I send along best wishes to all other Dads from my station here at Bagram Airfield...It is a wistful place to be on Father's day but the reasons to be here are all easily apparent.

As Men and Fathers, we do what we must to ensure that our families receive the things they need spiritually, mentally, morally and monetarily. It is our task in life and we take it on eagerly as we made the decision to be the " Dad ".

A few words from the past that ring true today :

"None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of such a Father who has not his equal in this world - so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don't be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal."

- Queen Victoria of England

Enclosed is a copy of an article by a 13 year old girl who tells about her military Dad and her wishes of a Happy Father's day to him...very well done by the young lady.

HAPPY DAD's DAY to all DADS out there....especially those who are away from home & family serving our great Country.

A teen's thank-you to her military father
By Sophie Roth-Douquet - USA Today

This Father's Day, I imagine I'll pile store-bought food on paper plates and serve it to my Dad on a big cardboard moving box. That's because we've just arrived in Germany, in the latest of seven moves we've had since I was born.

This makeshift Father's Day is still better than last year, when my Dad and I celebrated via Skype. He was on the other side of the globe, deployed to Afghanistan. That was the fourth Father's Day I've celebrated without him.

So I have to ask: What kind of a father is a man who chooses to be in the military?

I'm a 13-year-old girl. My father is in the Marine Corps, and so I've gone to eight schools since kindergarten. This past move has been especially hard because I had to leave behind such good friends in South Carolina.

My Dad chose to live this life — moving every other year and getting deployed every three years. This is a great choice for him — he's an amazing Marine — but what about his family? Is it a good choice for us?

I've had to make new friends every one to three years. Sometimes I don't even make friends for the first six months, and then much of my time in the new location is already gone by then. I have to adjust to new school systems, sometimes even having to learn a new language.

I have to live without my father for months, or even a year at a time. I worry whether he's safe.

There are easier lives. Ours is challenging. Is it right to choose to raise your child this way?

Another question: Is it a parent's job to make their child's life as easy as possible, or do other lessons matter, too?

As I sit here typing, the idea of an easy life sounds good. On the other hand, as science fiction writer Robert Heinlein advised, "Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy."

I can see Heinlein's point. Have I been handicapped by ease? No. But I haven't been handicapped by military life either, if I reflect on the entire experience.

I've gotten to live all over the world. I've lived on three different continents —North America, Europe and Asia. I've learned new languages, which I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. I have friends around the world. I've gone to a bunch of schools and learned that there are different ways to teach, and to learn. All in all, I've been opened up to the world.

My Dad's work and encouragement has made it impossible for me to be close-minded. I've lived in places with people of every color under the sun and millions of different ideas in their heads. I've also lived in places with single-minded people and little ethnic diversity.

I've had richer experiences than most adults, and I still have my whole life ahead of me. But most importantly, I feel that I help people through my Dad's service. Sure I sacrifice, but I get the sense that Americans appreciate the sacrifices of military families like mine. I like that feeling.

I understand that when things are tough, my family is struggling for something greater than ourselves.

Finally, my Dad has helped me grow and given me plenty of reasons to be proud.

And with that, Happy Father's Day, Dad!


Sophie's family is still getting settled in Germany. Her mother, Kathy Roth-Douquet, is the co-founder of Blue Star Families.